The Edge, August 16, 2008
Many people are at a loss to know if they are a prophet.
However, there are some simple tests to know if you have made it to prophet status or are a plain old dreamer.
For example, a regular dream might involve seeing yourself meeting Mickey Mouse, while a DVD would involve seeing yourself meeting Mickey Mouse, who has a head of gold that is covered in horns, and is ironing his clay shoes while singing a Rolling Stones song.
Other signs that you’re a certified prophet include these common symptoms:
- When you are writing, a voice in your head points out most spelling, grammatical and factual errors.
- Everyone you curse out loud gets attacked by bears.
- The song Chariots of Fire runs through your head when you see a plane fly over.
- Senior people continually quote you out of context in aid of rebuking young people.
- You know lottery numbers in advance but your stance against gambling means you never buy a ticket.
- Almost everyone doesn’t appreciate your advice, which is always confronting but right.
- All TV, movies, books, sermons, sports and “who done it”evenings are tediously predictable.
- Every time you think about avoiding a task that comes to mind, you suddenly smell rotting fish and feel a little sea sick.
If any of the above are a part of your life, congratulations— you’re most likely a prophet. If not, we’re sorry but daydreaming is not tax deductable for you.
Having now read all this, we have inspired you to become a prophet—don’t call God, He’ll call you!
Interesting Fact: If you are a prophet then ... well ... you know the rest.