Breaking News: Probation Closed!

Performance: Lilydale Seventh-day Adventist Church - December 1, 2012

The brief given to Scott: A short play about hope in Jesus

If you have multiple live cameras running on the day and showing on the screen, have one pointing at the news desk and another at each ‘location’ that is crossed to – so the big screen shows the news program as if on TV. Have the actors speak into the cameras also.

Two are seated at a news desk (or one, if you haven’t the actors) and the other actors appear elsewhere for their live crosses, then leave.

  

(Some ‘newsy’ intro music is played as the lively news readers begin to talk.)

[Desk 1] Welcome to Universe Network News.(UNN)

[Desk 2] Coming up in today’s bulletin: Andromeda galaxy begins roll out of a galaxy wide broadband network.

[Desk  1] Horse-head nebular government to fund construction of rest of horses body

[Desk 2] and Pleiades wins the rights to host the 14 billionth universe Olympics

(music stopped by now)

[Desk 1] But first up some breaking news, probation has just closed on the troubled planet Earth of the Milky Way galaxy. We now cross to Alex who is on the scene.
Alex, what’s the mood down there?

(Alex is standing with two earthlings – Chris and Althea – on either side)

[Alex] (wait two seconds and nod as if listening - pretending there is a delay in the live cross) Yes I’m here on Earth where the news has been received that probation has indeed just closed.  This means God has now ended Earth’s decision making time of whether to follow Him or not, and it’s now time for Jesus to return.
Now this news has been received with mixed reactions. Here I have a long time Christian with me. Chris what does this mean for you, and why the excitement?

[Chris (excited)] Well, it means Jesus is returning sooner than we expected. We’re all very excited to be able to finally meet him and be taken home from this sinful planet.  (excitedly) HE’S COMING BACK BABY!!!

[Alex] Well there’s sheer joy for you, but over here I have Althea, who still believes this is all made up. Althea, you’re not concerned that your disbelief in Jesus as the son of God will prevent you from an eternity of joy with him?

[Althea] I’m not worried at all. This is just another stunt by the Christians. But even if Chris was right and will be going to heaven, I think I’ll be going too. He’s done some nasty stuff in his day.  I’m more than happy to stand in some ‘heavenly courtroom’ with Chris, if such a place actually exist. He’ll make me look like an angel. (laughs)

[Alex] Well there you have it, split opinions but both still optimistic. Back to you in the studio.

[Desk 2] Thanks Alex,  now we cross to an expert in the Bible’s probationology. Theo, what does this mean for those two friends on earth, do either of them have any hope in being united with Jesus for an eternity?

[Theo] (a sedate brainiac that does not get excited ) In Chris’ case, yes. Having put his faith in Jesus has given him a clean slate, even though he has a worse behavioral past than Althea. While Chris clearly has hope for a future, on the contrary, there is no hope for Althea whatsoever.

[Desk 1] Sorry, we’ll have to cut you off there, Theo, we’ve just managed to get Jesus before he leaves home. Let’s cross to Gabe. Gabe, what’s happening in Heaven?

[Gabe] Hi guys, I’m here with Jesus who is perhaps more excited than the entirety of the universe put together. Jesus, thanks for taking a moment to speak to us, I know you’re a very busy man slash God.

[Jesus] No worries Gabe. (Waves and gives the thumbs up at people in the crowd, clearly excited and distracted a little, but listening)

[Gabe] So we have word probation is now closed, what’s happening next?

[Jesus] Well, I’ve just got the last few billion angels to position, then we’re off to Earth to pick up my kids.

[Gabe] So this is the much awaited Second Coming?

[Jesus] That’s it. And no more eagerly awaited than by me.

[Gabe] Any clues as to what we’ll be seeing in the second coming?

[Jesus] I can’t say too much. Just be prepared for the brightest, most colorful, fragrant and surround sound experience ever performed in the history of the universe. Not much really (sarcastically)

[Gabe] Looking forward to it.

[Jesus] Thanks Gabe. (Starts to quickly walk off) Love your work!

[Gabe] Looks like this will be the show of all shows, I’m off to get my seat. Back to you in the studio.

[Desk 2] Thanks Gabe. That’s exciting news for heaven and earth alike. Stay tuned for coverage of the Second Coming, live as it happens

[Desk 1] After the break, an alarming report on the dangers of texting while teleporting. Back soon.

(start short news music play out)