Written: Scott Wegener
Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist church, May 7, 2016
- Announcer
- Superhero 1
- Super Hero 2 (or more)
- Lady Assistant [a mum]
- Reporter
- Photographer(s)
Announcer: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for attending the award ceremony where we crown our nation's Superhero of the year. Before we continue, let's have the nominees join me up the front. Give them a round of applause!
[Heroic 'Ben Hur' Music starts] A lady assistant, holding a medal on a plush pillow, leads two (or more) super heroes up onto the stage. Photographers take flash photos. and a couple during the opening speech also. The Superheroes stand shoulder-to-shoulder on one side of the announcer, the lady assistant stands the other side, not drawing attention to herself, ready for presenting the medal.
Those nominated don't do what they do for the glory, but just because they want peace and safety in our society.
As you all know, this award is not easy to earn. It takes acts of endurance, acts of selflessness, acts of foresight, acts of doing things no one else wants to do - even though they've already been working hard all day.
Let's meet some of the nominees;
Announcer: Who are you?
Hero: Magneto
Announcer: When did you most recently use your super powers?
Hero: I helped an old lady with arthritic fingers attach a shopping list to her refrigerator door
Announcer: Who are you?
Hero: Spiderman/Spiderwoman
Announcer: When did you most recently use your super powers?
Hero: I saved a man's life by removing a huntsman spider from his car.
Announcer: Who are you?
Hero: Batman/Batwoman
Announcer: When did you most recently use your super powers?
Hero: I installed insulation bats to help keep a family from this church warm in winter and cool in summer - all while reducing their energy bill
Announcer: You're hardly a superhero, aren't you just a trades person
Hero: Augh, no. You see I did it in secret one night while they were sleeping. They thought I was just a possum.
Announcer: Who are you?
Hero: Mash Gordon
Announcer: When did you most recently use your super powers?
Hero: Last week, the cook at a retirement village cut his hand off.
Announcer: So you speedily rushed them to hospital, weaving in and out of traffic, and got them their in time to save their hand?
Hero: No. I speedily peeled and mashed 300 potatoes for him - just in time for dinner service.
Announcer: Who are you?
Hero: The Church Pasta [played by the church's Pastor]
Announcer: When did you most recently use your super powers?
Hero: At last week's church lunch. I freely fed about 20 people.
Announcer: You served them?
Hero: No, they served me! I was on the table between the potato bake and the egg sandwiches.
Announcer: [blank pause]....OH! Church PASTA! I get it.
Announcer: Who are you?
Hero: A Wiggle [wiggles hands VERY enthusiastically]
Announcer: When did you most recently use your super powers?
Hero: Just this morning actually [wiggles hands]
Announcer: Oh what did you do to better society from pain and suffering?
Hero: A Wiggle [wiggles hands]
Announcer: That's it?
Hero: Yep :) [wiggles hands]
Without Superheroes like these in our society, life as we know it would truly be worse... I guess?
Ok, the time we have all be waiting for has now come,
A Super hero: Jesus has returned?
[All Super heroes then cheer and celebrate]
Announcer: No, No, not the second coming, the announcement of the super hero of the year.
Ladies and Gentlemen.... the winner...... of the title..... "greatest Superhero....... of the year"...... goes to... [ drum roll - opens envelope ]
...MOTHERS!
[All Super heroes clap]
Do we have a mother on stage?
Assistant: [looks around and hesitantly puts hand half way up]
Announcer: Congratulations! Let's give all mother's a round of applause!
[puts medal on Assistant and leads to the microphone, photographers take photos]
Announcer: Any questions for our superhero of the year, a mother?
Reporter: [yells out, un-microphoned] How do you feel about winning the title of superhero of the year?
Assistant: Well, it's a little unnecessary, really...
Reporter: What motivates you?
[photographers take photos]
Assistant: Um, I just love my family?
Announcer: Well congratulations to all the mothers out there, and thank you for EVERYTHING you do!
OPTIONAL: And we have flowers for all the mothers here today, as a small thank you for all you do and have done. [kids take flowers around the isles.]
Mothers, we salute you. Until next year's mother's day...err Superhero awards - good night!
[Theme music again as everyone walks off...]