Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church - June 19, 2021
[Designed to have as many, or few (2), participants as needed]
Reece: Hey, do you know God’s phone number?
Phone number?
Reece: Yeah, I’ve got a question I want to ask God
Umm, no, God doesn’t have a phone number.
Reece: Oh, ok then.
—
Reece: Hey, do you know God’s email address?
Email address?
Reece: Yeah, I want to ask God a question
Umm, God doesn’t have an email address
Reece: Oh, ok then.
—-
Reece: Hey, do you know God’s postal address?
Postal address?
Reece: Yeah, I want to ask God a question.
Umm no, God doesn’t have a postal address
Reece: Oh ok.
—-
Reece: Hey do you know God’s Facebook account ?
Facebook?
Reece: Yeah I want to ask Him a question.
Umm God doesn’t have a Facebook account.
——————————
[now rapid fire, as written]
Reece: What about Instagram? (No)
WhatsApp? (No)
Twitter? (No)
Linkedin? (No)
MySpace? (No)
I C Q? (No)
Fax number? (No)
More code station? (No)
Semaphore sequence? (No)
Carrier pigeon route? (No)
Smoke signal mountain? (No)
————————————
Well this is ridiculous, how am I supposed to get in contact with God to ask my question?
Chris: You just gotta pray?
Reece: Pray?
Chris: Yeah!
Reece: How do you Pray?
Chris: Well, usually people just close their eyes and just start talking.
Reece: Oh, I didn't know that. Thanks...
Umm, Chris,
Chris: Yes Reece,
Reece: Hypothetically speaking, let’s say you didn’t have a blinking function sewn into your head, and were unable close your eyes. Does that mean you can’t pray?
Chris: Sure you can, you can pray with you eyes open, and even without speaking out loud. You just start talking to God, and He’ll hear you.
Reece: Oh, right! Cool, thanks.
Just start talking... Well, here goes...
“Dear God, I have a question for you... so if you could just give me your phone number so I can contact you, that would be great. Thanks!”
Thanks Chris. All done. I left a message. See ya.
[Chris stares at Reece leaving and turns to audience and shakes head, then leaves]