Cast:
- JOE – Cautious Caption (Lead Actor, able to confidently work the audience)
- NAV – Nervous Navigator
- MOP – Comical Cleaner
- SPANNER – Clever Mechanic
- FLIPPER – Ambitious Cook
Act 1: Friday night “Being called by God”
[Crew sitting around, bored. Nav walks in]
SPANNER: Listen up crew! I got us a delivery job!
NAV: What good is delivery job if we don’t have a captain to dive our submarine?
FLIPPER: Why did captain Joe leave again?
MOP: I think he didn’t like your cooking, Flipper?
NAV: No, He retired. Wanted to spend the rest of his life doing jigsaw puzzles, or something. What’s the delivery?
SPANNER: 1000 Bibles.
FLIPPER: 1000 Bibles? Why would someone want 1000 Bibles?
NAV: Well, without a captain it doesn’t matter what they’re for, we can’t do it.
SPANNER: Maybe we could ask Joe back? You know, for one more underwater adventure.
MOP: It’s worth a try. We’re not doing anything else. Let’s go over to his house and ask him.
[move over to other side of stage scene, Joe praying]
JOE: Dear God. Please look after my parents and all the sick people in my church. I thank you for all the blessings in my life. For giving me a nice house, and for having food. And that I could retire from that submarine captain job and just do nothing but jigsaw puzzles for the rest of my life. But Lord, if there’s something you need me to do, I’m ready, just knock on my door anytime.
[Knock on door]
[calls out] Just a minute!
[back to prayer] I understand God, if you don’t have anything more for me to do, that’s fine. But if you do need me, you can call on me.
[phone rings]
I’ll be right back, God. [Answers phone]
Hello?
SPANNER: Joe, we have a job for you, we’re at your front door. Open up!
[hangs up phone, opens door]
JOE: Hey guys! Good to see you again. What’s up?
NAV: We need you back as a captain for one more job.
JOE: Sorry guys, I’ve retired. No more submarine adventures for me – life is so much easier not being a captain. I’m so sorry guys. It’s not you… it’s me.
I’m happy how I am.
FLIPPER: But we have a job you will be interested in!
JOE: I don’t think so. I’m actually waiting to hear what God wants me to do for Him next. And I can’t do that if I’m in a submarine, can I? So you’ll have to find another captain.
SPANNER: We need to deliver some Bibles to Newcastle.
JOE: Bibles?
MOP: Yeah, 1000 of them.
FLIPPER: We know you’re always talking about your God and church and stuff. We thought you’d be interested in this mission.
JOE: Can’t they just go by boat?
SPANNER: No, Last two times the Bibles went by boat, pirates took them and burned them. The Bibles need to be snuck under the pirates with our submarine and taken to the people needing Bibles to learn about Jesus – or someone – I forget what the guy on the phone specifically said. I’ve never read the Bible myself.
JOE: Sorry guys. I’m retired and waiting to hear what God wants me to do for him. I have to get back to praying about that. I’m sure you’ll find another captain. Bye!
[Closes door – crew sit down sad]
[sighs] Ok. Back to praying for direction on what God wants me to do. Or maybe I’ll read my Bible.
Where is my Bible? I thought I left it right here? It’s got to be here somewhere.
Oh here it is, under my model…. Submarine?
Um….. God??? Are you saying I can serve you by helping to deliver these Bibles? But I really didn’t want to spend any more time in that Submarine. Oh, what to do, what to do!….
JOE: [to audience] Hey kids, what option should I choose?
Option 1, LISTEN to God,
or Option 2, IGNORE God?
If you think I should do Option 1, call out “LISTEN TO GOD”! [call out]
If you think I should do Option 2, call out “IGNORE”! [call out]
Option 1, call out “LISTEN TO GOD”? [call out]
Option 2, “IGNORE”? [call out]
OK…. Thanks. I’ll do Option 1. I choose to LISTEN to God!
[goes out to crew]
JOE: So… When do we leave?
SPANNER: [excited] Right away, the Bibles are already loaded. Jump in!
FLIPPER: What made you change your mind?
JOE: We’ll, I could either choose option 1, Listen to God, or option 2. Ignore Him, and I chose Option 1, Listen to God – after I got some good advice from some friends [nods at audience]
NAV: [crew looks out to audience] Why are you nodding to those dolphins?
MOP: A little too much pineapple juice perhaps?
JOE: Ok crew let’s get sinking! Spanner, go and start the engines.
SPANNER: Aye Captain
JOE: Nav, put in the coordinates,
NAV: Aye Captain
JOE: Mop, make sure the Bibles are secured.
MOP: Aye Captain
JOE: Flipper, cook us some pancakes – with strawberry Jam
FLIPPER: Aye Captain
[SFX: Engins start]
JOE: Rady to go, Nav?
NAV: Affirmative!
JOE: Dive, Dive, Dive!
[SFX: Ah-OO-Ga, Ah-OO-Ga, Ah-OO-Ga] down we go! Take us to depth 500 meters, Nav.
NAV: Aye Captain [waits a moment] We are reaching 500 meters deep.
JOE: Great – forward.
[SFX: Engins stopping]
NAV: What’s happening?
SPANNER: Captain, our propeller’s jammed.
FLIPPER: [with jam spread pancake in hand] Someone say they wanted jam?
JOE: Not now Flipper.
NAV: Oh no, were…. Stuck!
MOP: We’re stuck? At the bottom of the ocean??? What are we going to do!
[all actors turn to audience and call out together]
ALL: TO BE CONTINUED…
Act 2: Sabbath “Running away from our fears”
SPANNER: Captain, the propeller of our submarine is jammed.
FLIPPER: Someone say they wanted jam?
JOE: Not now Flipper.
NAV: Oh no, were…. Stuck!
MOP: Stuck? At the bottom of the ocean??? What are we going to do!
SPANNER: We need to clear the propeller so we can keep moving forward. Otherwise we’ll need to resurface.
JOE: Well, let’s just resurface then!
NAV: We can’t do that.
JOE: Spanner just said we could.
SPANNER: We can!
JOE: See!
NAV: NO, but if we resurface here, we’ll pop out of the water right in the middle of the pirates. And they’ll take away the Bibles and burn them.
JOE: Right, so can we fix the propeller?
NAV: Yes,
JOE: Well, let’s just do that then.
SPANNER: We’ll have to do a water-walk?
JOE: A water-walk? Like Jesus?
NAV: What?
JOE: There’s a story about Jesus walking on water in the Bible. Got a Bible? I can find it for you.
MOP: Got 1000 of them back here!
NAV: No, A water-walk, like a space-walk, but underwater. Someone is going to have to go out of the submarine and clear the propeller for us.
FLIPPER: Can’t be me, I’ve got some pancakes cooking.
MOP: Can’t be me, I have to clean up after the pancakes.
SPANNER: Can’t be me, I’m eating pancakes
NAV: Can’t be me, I’m allergic to pancakes.
SPANNER: Captain, the only water-walk suit we have on board is your size, it has to be you.
JOE: I can’t go. I’m scared of…. Scared of…..SSHH
MOP: What are you scared of?
JOE: I’m scared of…. SSSHHH
MOP: Shhhh-tarfish??
JOE: No… SSSHHHarks
MOP: You’re scared of sharks?
JOE: Yes!
NAV: But you have to go. If we resurface here, the pirates will see us and take the Bibles.
JOE: No, but there might be SSSHHHarks. We have to re-surface.
FLIPPER: But the Bibles. Didn’t God call you to do a job for him
JOE: But I’m afraid of the sshhh-arks!
NAV: Well, Captain, you have two options:
Option 1 - you can be brave and SERVE God,
or Option 2, you can RUN from your fear!!!!
So, what’s it to be, Joe?
JOE: [to audience] Hey kids, what option should I choose?
Option 1, be brave and SERVE God?,
or Option 2, RUN from my fear?
If you think I should do Option 1, call out “SERVE GOD”! [call out]
Or if you think I should do Option 2, call out “RUN”! [call out]
Option 1, call out “SERVE GOD”? [call out]
Option 2, call out “RUN”? [call out]
OK! Thanks.
NAV: So, what's it to be, Joe?
JOE: "I’ll do Option 1. I choose to be brave and SERVE God!" [nods at audience]
NAV: [crew looks out to audience] Why are you nodding to those jellyfish?
SPANNER: That’s the spirit! Good on you! Let’s suit you up.
[Super hero music starts up (like Octonaughts theme https://youtu.be/mR_Ui_3Iz2o?feature=shared&t=12 ) and all the crew get different parts of some kind of ‘dive suit’ and put it on Joe.]
SPANNER: There we go!
JOE: Thanks guys, I’ll head to the air lock. You keep an eye on the sonar for sharks and radio me if you see anything.
NAV: Aye captain.
JOE: It’s go time! [walks out of view of audience] Activate Airlock.
[steam swooshing sound – smoke machine]
[Set Joe’s mic channel to high treble low bass to give a radio effect]
JOE: Ok I’m in
NAV: Sonar is clear of sharks. Go for it, captain!
JOE: I’m coming up to the propellor now.
FLIPPER: Hey guys, I thought I’d catch us some angler fish for dinner while were down here. Ugly but tasty! Haaaas anyone seen my fishing line?
JOE: I can see there is something tangled in the propeller.
NAV: I haven’t seen your fishing line, Flipper.
JOE: It seems to be a… fishing line tangled in the propeller
[crew all slowly turn and stare at Flipper]
FLIPPER: I’ll go peel some potatoes… [walks off sheepishly]
JOE: It’s all clear now.
[radar tracking ping sound starts]
SPANNER: Great work Captain! Now come back to the ship.
NAV: Um sir,
JOE: On my way. What is it, Nav?
NAV: I don’t mean to alarm you but there’s a SSSHHHark heading your way
[all actors turn to audience and call out together]
ALL: TO BE CONTINUED…
Act 3: Sat night “God hears us” (Jonah praying to God)
[radar tracking ping sound starts]
SPANNER: Great work Captain, you’ve cleared the propeller! Now come back to the ship.
NAV: Um sir,
JOE: On my way. What is it, Nav?
NAV: I don’t mean to alarm you but there’s a SSSHHHark heading your way
JOE: A SHARK?! Oh no!! Is it a big one?
MOP: Here, let me look….. it seems to be a…
[sings https://youtu.be/XqZsoesa55w?feature=shared&t=27]
…baaaaay-beeeeee shark, do doo do do do doo.
JOE: A what?
MOP: A bay-be shark, do doo do do do doo.
JOE: Baby shark?
MOP: do doo do do do doo.
NAV: Baby shark, Joe, you’re all ok.
JOE: Ok, coming up to the air lock now. Open up.
SPANNER: Opening airlock
[steam swooshing sound – smoke machine]
JOE: I’m in, close the airlock Nav.
FLIPPER: Who want’s some hot chips
SPANNER: Oh yes please
[Joe walks in saturated, having a bucket of water quietly tipped over him back stage – walks in and Mop hands a towel]
MOP: Great Job captain.
JOE: Thanks Mop.
NAV: Alright we’re good to go then?
FLIPPER: Hey guys, why is there water starting to come in the room?
[squirty bottles into crowd]
JOE: SPANNER!!!! DID YOU CLOSE THE AIRLOCK???!!!
SPANNER: YES! You can see here…. No…. I didn’t! CLOSING NOW!!
[steam swooshing sound – smoke machine]
JOE: Wow that was close.
SPANNER: Sorry Guys, I must have got distracted.
JOE: Mop, see how much water came into our sub.
MOP: Aye, Captain
JOE: Spanner, Check the Bibles See if they are still dry.
SPANNER: Aye, Captain
JOE: Let’s get moving quickly so we can deliver these Bibles. Forwards, Nav!
NAV: Aye captain, moving forward.
SPANNER: Captain, the Bibles are all dry, but there’s a LOT of water that leaked in down there.
JOE: Thank you Spanner. We’d better get to the surface. We should have travelled under the pirates now. Nav, rase the sub from a depth of 500m to 20m and we’ll use our periscope to see if we’re clear.
NAV: Aye caption, raising the Sub….
JOE: Spanner, prepare the Periscope
SPANNER: Aye, preparing the periscope.
NAV: Um, captain.
JOE: Yes Nav.
NAV: Um…. We’re still down on the ocean floor at 500m depth.
JOE: Sorry Nav, I thought I asked to raise the 20m so we can use the periscope.
NAV: Yes you did, but we can’t seem to get off the sea bottom!
JOE: What?
NAV: I think with all the water that came on board, we’re too heavy! We have to lose some weight.
FLIPPER: Donuts anyone?
MOP: Not now, Flipper!
NAV: What about if we release the Bibles? Throw them out the air lock?
FLIPPER: What? That would ruin the Bibles!
SPANNER: No we can’t do that. We can’t open the air-lock again and risk any more water coming in.
MOP: What about if we all try jumping? Then the Sub will be lighter.
JOE: Worth a try. Let’s all jump, after 3.
1…2…3… JUMP! Try again…. 1…2…3.. JUMP!
[To Audience] Maybe if we ALL jump together – stand up everyone and after three we’ll all jump! OK 1…2…3… JUMP!
One more time, not everyone jumped – we need all the grown up crabs out there jumping too. 1…2…3… JUMP!!!!
Ok, sit down Kids. Any progress, Nav?
NAV: No, captain. We’re still on the bottom of the ocean. We’ll have to do more than that.
JOE: Oh well, it was worth a try. There must be something we can do. Think peoples. What options do we have left?
NAV: Well... as I see it, we only have two options left:
Option 1 - we can PRAY to your God for help,
or option 2, we can PAAANNIICCC!!!!
So, what’s it to be, Joe?
JOE: [to audience] Hey kids, what option should I choose?
Option 1, PRAY to God for help,
or Option 2, PANIC! ?
For Option 1, call out “PRAY”! [call out]
Or for Option 2, call out PANIC! [call out]
Option 1, call out “PRAY”? [call out]
Option 2, call out “PANIC”? [call out]
OK! Thanks.
NAV: So, what's it to be, Joe?
JOE: "I’ll do Option 1. I choose to PRAY!" [nods at audience]
MOP: [crew looks out to audience] Why are you nodding to those Clown fish?
NAV: Well. I think panicking is a better idea, but you’re the boss.
FLIPPER: We’re going to pray? Why is that?
JOE: Jesus knows we’re here and He will take care of us. We’ll just ask him for help.
FLIPPER: So how do you pray, exactly?
JOE: You just talk to God, as if here were here with you and a friend who can help.
FLIPPER: That’s it?
JOE: Yep. And usually close your eyes to help you concentrate, and not get distracted.
FLIPPER: Right-oh. Closing eyes. Go!
JOE: Dear God,
“Whenever I’m in danger, I called to you LORD, and you answer me.
We are about to die, down in the deep sea. We sit with seaweed all around us, down on the bottom of the ocean. We will be in this submarine forever, unless you save us, LORD my God. Hear my prayer. I praise and thank you. Only you can save us LORD! Amen.”
MOP: Ok, now what?
[radar ping starts]
NAV: Umm, guys
JOE: We wait, either for a good idea to come to us, or to be saved
NAV: Guys!!
JOE: Yes, Nav?
NAV: There’s something giant coming our way.
MOP: Right, let me guess. A Baby shark?
NAV: No, bigger
MOP: A mummy shark?
NAV: No way bigger!
MOP: A basking shark?
NAV: No, even Bigger - this looks twice the size of our submarine and it’s coming straight towards us!!
SPANNER: Straight towards us?!!
NAV: Yes and it’s going to hit us
JOE: Unless…. No….?
SPANNER: What!?
JOE: Unless it’s going to swallow us!
SPANNER: Swallow us?
JOE: Yeah, there’s a story in the Bible of a giant fish swallowing a guy once….
NAV: Here it comes – Hold on everyone, Joe’s right: it’s going to swallow us!!!!!
[deep whale sound with swallowing chomp sound. ALL lights go out in room.]
[all actors call out together] ALL: TO BE CONTINUED…
Act 4: Sunday morning Conclusion
[dark stage.]
JOE: Spanner, turn on emergency lighting. Is everyone ok?
SPANNER: I think that giant creature just swallowed our submarine… AND WE’RE IN IT!!.
NAV: We’re doomed! We’re all going to die here!
JOE: Don’t be afraid. We were doomed when we were left sitting at the bottom of the ocean. God sent us a creature to save us!
MOP: Serious?! Eating us is saving us?? I’m going to go save some chocolate.
SPANNER: So what now?
JOE: I don’t know. We didn’t cover this situation in Submarine school.
SPANNER: I guess we just…wait then?
MOP: Soooo… how long did the person have to wait in the Bible story?
JOE: Three days.
NAV: THREE DAYS?! I have to get home to water my plants, or they’ll be doomed!
FLIPPER: Hey while we wait, do you think we could pop out the air lock and, you know, have a look around?
JOE: I guess so.
FLIPPER: Yippee. It seems so dark and moist out there, I’m bound to find some mushrooms I can cook up!
SPANNER: So, Joe, this God of yours, is he actually real?
JOE: I believe so, yes. We’re in the belly of a big fish, aren’t we.
SPANNER: Yes, but it might have come anyway. How do we know it came from your God.
JOE: First, He’s not ‘MY God’ he’s OUR God, and He loves each of us more than you can imagine. And second, maybe it was luck, but I’ve had to many ‘lucky’ moments in my life for them ALL to be luck. I believe there is a God, and he sent his son, Jesus, to die for us so we can live together forever, and he cares for us until then.
FLIPPER: Hey guys, look what I found! An old pair of sandals!
MOP: Really?
FLIPPER: And there’s a name on them. John-oh… John-arr or something
[fish groans SFX]
JOE: WOAH, something happening!
MOP: Flipper, I think you might have given the fish indigestion – what did you do out there!
FLIPPER: Nothing! Though, I may have emptied the leftovers from lunch down the little garbage shoot down the end.
JOE: Everyone, BACK IN THE SUB!!
[all rush back]
JOE: Close the air lock!!
[airlock swish]
NAV: I’ve got a bad feeling about this… hold on everyone!
[groan and then mega long deep Burp sound effect]
SPANNER: We’re out??
NAV: Captain, we’re now at 20m depth, we can use the periscope!
JOE: Awesome! Up periscope!
[DONG! Sound]
NAV: What was that?
JOE: I think the periscope hit a turtle on the way up
SPANNER: What do you see? Any pirates up there?
MOP: Are we near land?
JOE: I see a…. Sea gull. It’s sitting on the periscope.
[sea gull sound]
JOE: Shew! Shew! Can’t see any pirates. I see….. land! And a town… It’s…. IT’S Newcastle!!!!
MOP: Winner, winner whale dinner! The fish didn’t only save us, but it took us to where we needed to go!
SPANNER: Surely it came from God!
FLIPPER: Wow, your God sure is powerful .
MOP: And loving, it seems.
SPANNER: Yeah! Say, what does one need to do to follow your God?
JOE: Well, you need to learn about his Son, Jesus, who came to save us.
MOP: Like that big fish?
JOE: Kind of, yeah.
MOP: So, what do we do now?
JOE: You have two options really. Option 1 is choose to follow Jesus. Option two, is to decide later.
NAV: I don’t know. I mean, other than you, who out there really chooses Jesus?
MOP: Hey guys, look at all the people sitting on the beach. What do you think they choose?
Hey kids, what option do you choose?
Option 1, you choose to FOLLOW JESUS,
or Option 2, you will DECIDE LATER.
If you choose Option 1, call out “I CHOOSE JESUS”! [call out]
Or if you choose Option 2, call out “I’ll DECIDE LATER”! [call out]
Option 1, “I CHOOSE JESUS”? [call out]
Option 2, “I’LL DECIDE LATER”? [call out]
Well, it looks like most of them choose Option 1. They choose to follow Jesus.
JOE: That’s awesome! I think you should to! Now, let’s go deliver the Bibles!
SPANNER: Hey, do you think I can keep one for myself? I’d like to learn more about this Jesus.
FLIPPER: Yeah ,me too.
MOP: Me three!
JOE: Sure! That’s exactly what these Bibles are for – to give to people who want to know about Jesus.
NAV: I’ll take one to.
[start to walk out]
JOE: I’m so glad you’re all going with option one, choose Jesus! Let’s get sharing.
[all actors turn to audience and call out together]
ALL: Hey Kids, one more time, If you choose Option 1, call out “I CHOOSE JESUS”! Awesome!!! BYE!!!
Presentation: NNSW Adventurer Camporee - October 11-13, 2024