Very short commercial breaks to put in-between segments in a Christmas program.
Can be presented live or pre-recorded on video.
Could have some cheesy background music.
Ideally announced with "And now, time for a word form one of our sponsors".
Stable Stench Freshener
Does your stable smell of donkey do-do?
Does working in your stable for more than a few minutes make you nauseous?
Do you want to have guests over, but you’re embarrassed by the reek in your stable?
Cleanse the foul odour in your animal shelter with: Stable-Stench Fresheners!
Simply hang the Stable-Stench Freshener from the roof and the room’s smell will be neutralised with the delightful aroma of dried fish.
Never again will your guest complain of an overpowering smell of poop.
Stable-Stench Fresheners - Available now from all good two-shekel shops.
Do you want your child to reach the Pharisee’s inner circle when they grow up?
Or do you simply want a child who will obey all the laws with perfection?
Give your child the best start by sending them to “You can’t do that” early learning centre - the only Pharisee approved preschool in Bethlehem.
We’ll teach your child the latest rules and regulations in Sabbath keeping
And your child will learn all about the complicated art of stoning someone the right way.
So, if your child is under the age of 4 and has memorised the scripture of Leviticus, they’re eligible to join us at “You can’t do that” early learning centre.
Come for a tour today, unless it’s Saturday.
Mangers R Us
Mangers R Us has the largest range of animal feeding troughs in town.
Whether you have horses, cows, donkeys, sheep, goats, llamas, or pandas, we have the trough for your animal feeding needs.
Each of our troughs are made from stainless-wood and include an air freshener hanging hook on the side.
So, from giraffes to guineapigs, never let your precious animal eat off the floor again.
Mangers R Us – food troughs fit for a king.
Stable BnB
Looking for an economical place to stay in Bethlehem for the up-and-coming census?
Stable BnB offers a rustic accommodation experience that is pet friendly and close to town.
This cosy accommodation includes: A partially rain proof ceiling, impartially breeze proof walls, a roll-away manger, and comfy splinter-less bathroom bucket. Complimentary Stable Stench Fresheners are provided for guest comfort and slightly soiled hay bedding can be provided at additional cost.
No need to book, just turn up!
Stable BnB – vacancy is our specialty.
Bethlehem Private
Have you discovered your carrying a child?
Consider having it delivered at Bethlehem Private.
To help you through a painful labour all our birthing suits have the latest in medical innovations, such as:
Rounded wooden stools for comfort,
beaded curtains to keep flies out the room,
and a fireplace to boil water, complete with a chimney hole in the roof to let some of the smoke escape the room.
So, next time you find yourself unexpectedly pregnant, deliver in style at Bethlehem Private – where your accident is our business.
Rats-be-gone cat hire
Have you got a pest problem in your stable?
Rats Be Gone Cat Hire has a range of cats to eradicate any infestation in the dingiest stable.
Our Tabby cats are best in the business when it comes to rounding up your rat plague.
And our moggy cats a perfect for giving spiders the flick.
And why not try our new kitten range, so you can gush over how cute they are as they pounce on cockroaches that scurry across your floor.
Rats Be Gone cat hire – where your stable pest problem is our paradise.
Donkey-brace
Has your tummy got more cubits than your donkey can handle?
Your donkey needs Donkey-brace - a wooden contraption that reinforces your donkey’s back for the heaviest of loads.
You’ll never get a flat donkey again with our amazing brace technology, adjustable to your donkey’s contours and able to hold three talents of weight.
That’s not all. Order today and you’ll get a free set of side steps so you can mount up your donkey with ease.
Order now from all good carpenters. No suitable for sheep or goats.
FINAL - Messiah
1: Do you have aches, pains or sickness that you’d like healed?
2: Are you tired of working?
1: Do you need financial security?
2: Are you saddened by the loss of loved ones?
1: Do you need salvation from your sins?
2: Well, look no further!
1: You need, the Messiah!
2: Sign up today with your heart and when he returns, you’ll be guaranteed to be healed from all your aches, pains and sicknesses.
1: You’ll no longer need to work.
2: You’ll have financial security.
1: You’ll be saved from your sins
2: And, most of all, you’ll be reunited with your loved ones.
1: Accept this offer today, absolutely free of charge!
2: But wait, there’s more!
1: Everyone who signs up to the Messiah’s offer gets a lifetime extended warranty!
2: So, sign up now, for joy today.
1: And peace of mind for tomorrow.
2: But be quick - offer ends soon.
Performance: Castle Hill Seventh-day Adventist Church December 13, 2024